Hopes
Since returning to my studies after submitting my Journal my Hopes have been based on the wish to accomplish a strong portfolio of work. I am still finding it difficult to anchor a way of how to produce my imagery and reflect my personal taste. I had hoped that by now I would have a method of how I like to do things but my mind is still very scatty. I am not sure if this is down to a personality trait or the circumstances of being busy constantly. I have high hopes of getting a job when my studies are finished and I now feel confident in what role I wish to take. The opportunity I have had to work in an area of interest has solidified my wish to be a stand-by art director and I believe there is a possibility for me to work my way up to this post. My time working in the film/television industry has given me the knowledge that I now think I have the capabilities for such a job. This has fed my confidence and reassured me that there is a place for me in the creative world. I still feel like an imposter with my work and constantly look at the other students in awe. I have however realised my strengths are heavier in the organisational, time management, idea making and trouble shooting area. What I lack so far is the ability to execute my ideas to a sophisticated standard.
Fears
As established in my writings of my hopes, my fears relate to an identity for my work and an inability to produce anything to a decent standard. I work hard at everything but it doesn’t seem to pay off. At present my portfolio is basic and there isn’t an area in it that I feel represents what my work should look like. I am trying very hard to stay focused and continue my practice in the hope something will develop from all my experiments. I wish I had done a foundation course first to have the chance to try out more things. I fear that when I finish I will of not full- filled my potential and may give up trying to illustrate altogether. I am also finding the demand to produce websites, business cards, portfolio visits and animation in as little as six weeks overwhelming. I still struggle with technical areas and don’t like pestering people to show me….. again. I am trying to watch as many tutorials as possible in order to rectify it myself but too much of my production time is taken up by this. I feel I should be doing work instead and get frustrated that my computer skills do not come naturally I find it all difficult. I am sure my fears are the same as most students under pressure towards the end of their degree. My work experience of late has also taken up much of my time and although I have tried to document it as part of my work, I feel I have neglected part of study period. I am really hoping this has not hindered my marks. I have been told not to worry about my final mark but for me personally I need to know that I have done the best of my ability. How did I end up studying something I am in love with but I am really bad at?
Opportunities
I have been fortunate enough to have work experience in an industry I am interested in. At the beginning of January this year I was invited to work and helpout in the art department on a channel 4 production. The period drama is a four part series due to be released in the autumn. What I expected to be a 1 weeks work developed into several weeks and a whole host of opportunities and experiences. I have gained a wealth of knowledge and insight into the varying job roles the art department requires. I have also established an area I am interested in and been advised on the best route to take in order to achieve my goals. From day one I was asked to produce and make props that looked authentic of the period with limited resources. I believed this going to be way out of my capabilities and I had a couple of wobbles trying to design and make them. With determination and using the method of research, plan and structure [A,B AND C] taught to us by Mr Spicer I figured it out and was complimented on the end results by the director. I was thrown a couple more curve balls but I treated them like the briefs I have practiced at college and broke them down [quickly] to provide what was required. The motto of the art department is – ‘come to me with a solution not the problem’. This comment has stayed with me and I try to think of various ways to trouble shoot a problem. This opportunity has also given a contact list and a connection to a new circle of friend’s who are being very encouraging to me about doing more work in this area. The hours are long and there is enormous pressure and I feel I may have sacrificed my major project but the opportunity to experience this job now has been amazing. I am now more confident that there is life after my degree and that there is a chance I may be successful. The experience was therefore valuable to find out now instead of later.
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